MICHAEL KENNEY (40’s) is the famously successful broker of Black Rose Realty. He wears Brioni bespoke suits, an $80,000 Bulgari watch and custom shirts by Pink that he never wears twice. He shaves four times a day, changes his wardrobe three times a day too (“always do those things your competition would wish you not to do”) and breaks his fourteen hour days into ten minute increments for maximum efficiency.

He’s formal, erudite, confident in all things, and absolutely imperturbable. He is believed to be a genius and held in awe by all who know him–all except new agent BOB MENHAM, who suspects that Michael‘s “genius” may simply that of being a blithering idiot who always gets lucky.

Michael claims to be celibate (“great realtors seldom have sex and that‘s my ace in the hole–tell no one”) but Bob finds the claim to be in doubt. People say Michael can speak several languages (including Esperanto) but Bob thinks it sometimes sounds like he’s faking it. And though Michael quotes the lofty aphorisms and bromides of history’s great men, Bob notices that his obsession with the singer Gloria Estefan suggests that he has patterned his true philosophy from her song lyrics.

Bob is mystified by Michael’s chronic problems with clients’ pets, which often end in injuries to Michael or others. And he notes that Michael is often unnecessarily chivalrous, constantly leading to confrontations to those who offend his sensibilities–although it often seems as though he misjudges those matters terribly.

Michael’s past is a puzzle and is often the subject of open speculation. There is some evidence that once he was a Rhodes Scholar or Iterod competitor or an assassin for the CIA. Or a shepherd. Some think he may have been them all. He often presents various members of his family to the office, but in some cases there is no question to Bob that they are hired actors.

And there is the final enigma: How such a celebrated and successful man can also be such an apparent buffoon–and how is it that, other than Bob, no one else seems to notice?

BOB MENHAM (20’s) is conscientious, diffident and eager to please. He was taught that true success comes only through hard work, self-sacrifice and looking out for the other guy first. (Bob Menham is dumb as hell.)

Raised in Missoula, Montana, Bob always aspired to a bigger life. After graduating from the local university he got his big break and was hired by a Seattle software company. His friends and family gave him a big send-off, and he was laid off his first day on.

Too humiliated to return home after only one day gone, he investigates the prospects of selling Seattle real estate. Though he lacks confidence that he can make it as a salesman, he is drawn to the upscale office of Black Rose Realty, and to an appointment with their famous broker MICHAEL KENNEY.

Bob is intimidated by the commanding presence of this great man–until he spends a morning with Michael and comes to the encouraging opinion that if this guy can sell real estate, then anyone can.

Yet as Bob spends more time with Michael he will vacillate on whether this first impression is so, that Michael is an unexplained buffoon, or whether there is something more to this–that Michael is an unexplained genius.

DEBORAH KERR (30’s) is sexy and seductive, and offended when men notice. She turns innocuous compliments into claims of sexual harassment, and to even levy restraining orders against her admirers–especially her hapless and harmless colleague, JULIAN.

She is assertive and commanding, and successful. She works her vampish ways on all men, but has little luck with the true man of her heart, her broker MICHAEL KENNEY–her passions being held at bay by her overpowering awe of him–and his claims of celibacy. And like so many others, she is oblivious to the bizarre nature and ways of this man. (She is also seemingly oblivious that she shares the same name as a famous movie star of the 50’s. This also perplexes Bob.)

JULIAN (20’s) is a famous hypochondriac who once believed he was dying of testicular cancer when he mistook his vasectomy knot for a tumor. He has never been sick a day in his life yet broods constantly that his luck may change. This leaves him little time for real estate.

He resentfully avoids having to talk with any clients and sometimes is forced to jump out back windows if he sees one approaching. On some occasions he is known to even feign deafness to avoid human contact–and yet he maintains a modest success at Black Rose Realty. Whether this is a result of Michael’s radiating fame bolstering his business, or something more surrealistic, is just another puzzle for Bob to ponder.

Julian is enamored with Deborah and treats her courtly and with great respect. She treats him abysmally–and with restraining orders. He is loyal to Michael, is his apologist, and like others, does not seem to notice Michael’s strange ways.

ART SHARP (50’s) is the obstinate rival from “Grine and Claug Realty”. He is a bullish and arrogant ex-Marine who wears an eye-patch for what he says is a wound suffered in the service of his country. But Julian suspects it’s only an affectation–until one fateful day he approaches Sharp on his blind side and lifts the patch to take a peak. Julian’s screams broke glass, and he still speaks of his nightmares from that terrible day.

Sharp is jealous of Michael (possibly insanely so) and spends his days trying to best him in business–and to expose Michael for the fraud and villain he supposes him to be. And like the prosecutor who forever went up against Perry Mason, he is always thwarted.

CINDY THE SECRETARY (20’s) is prim, proper, pretty–and officious. She is loyal only to Michael. Bob can’t help but notice–as in the case of the others–that she mirrors many of Michael’s curious traits and phrases. Bob is attracted to her but is discomforted by his own awkwardness and her cool demeanor.

CHANDEL THE CHARWOMAN (50’s) is the only truly rational person Bob can talk to at Black Rose Realty and he uses her as a confidant. He often seeks her council at the end of a troubling day as she is cleaning the office. She is motherly towards him, and–because she calls it like she sees it–is disparaging toward all the others.